Saturday, August 30, 2014

It all started on one moonlit night - A Pantoum Verse


It all started on one enchanting moonlit night
    When white serene light was falling on his face
At the time, when the dusk had kissed goodnight
    He felt as in from another time and place

When white serene light was falling on his face
   The sight of his smiling face was all I could see
He felt as in from another time and place
    And all I could hear was the voice of the sea

The sight of his smiling face was all I could see
    In the moonlight, when quietness crept up the hill
And all I could hear was the voice of the sea
    We just sat there as the woods grew darker still

In the moonlight when quietness crept up the hill
    I knew in my heart - it's now or never
We just sat there as the woods grew darker still
    And he had my heart for now and forever

I knew in my heart - it's now or never
    At the time, when the dusk had kissed goodnight

And he had my heart for now and forever
    It all started on one enchanting moonlit night...

A pantoum verse consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

13 comments:

  1. I loved the form of the poetry, while he had your heart forever!

    ReplyDelete
  2. very cool pantoum....the dance of the lines and repetitions really makes this sing...and plays off the magic of the moment you are describing....

    ReplyDelete
  3. hm..very romantic, and nice that you used a form for it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You did well with the pantoum form, Ankita. Lovely romance in this poem.

    ReplyDelete
  5. this pantoum was perfect for the beautiful emotions described here...an enjoyable read Ankita :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. The pantoum is my favorite form and you have used it to perfection here - this poem is steeped in romance and moonlight..........very beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can feel that moment slowly gathering and then lingering! Pantoum form is perfect for this. It gives the sense that the moment and what it symbolizes will last.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I appreciate the form but enjoyed the subject regardless.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How beautifully romantic! I love the atmosphere of your poem, the serenity and the moonlight night.

    ReplyDelete
  10. sighing in satisfaction over your romantic piece here! i feel like i'm back in my teenage years crushing on someone i had admired, living in my own Aladdin fairy-tale....beautiful....indeed

    Jamztoma
    jamztoma.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes! this was an exercise in my last writing group. Simple as my imagination allowed me to be. Made me think, before writing the next line. And then I argued, "let it flow... as I spoke to thee ''...but it held me hostage to the the previous thought that had to be explained, and, complete!
    You did well! Bravo!
    ZQ

    ReplyDelete

I so appreciate you taking time to leave a comment, Thank you!